Yes Is Is Finally Happening
I know you've been waiting for it. I am here to announce the creation of my book, no title can contain the literary genius of my mind as of yet. This is awesome. In short you'll be reading a guide to surviving college and not leaving it looking like a fat ass. The following is a preview of the nutrition chapter. It's a rough draft but, holy hell, it is good. I'm surprised I didn't think of this earlier.
Step aside Seuss, here comes Kian Ameli
Before I get to the specifics of college nutrition I’m going to give you some rules to go by. In the off chance that you don’t follow everything I say to a T then these rules are going to be your guiding light, your life line, your map, your north star.
Rule 1 – 80/20
I don’t want you to not eat things you love, that’s just stupid. What I want for you to do is make better choices 80 percent of the time. If you live by the 80/20 rule: eat good most of the time, 80% of the time, and then you can do pretty much whatever you want for the rest of the time, the last 20%. Keep that in mind for the rest of the chapter, if I start sounding like a pompous, nutrition fascist then remember that’s for only 80% of your eating, you can put whatever you want in your mouth beyond that (settle).
Example. Lets say you ate an awesome breakfast, by awesome I mean healthy, had a good snack and nailed lunch and dinner, you killed the day. If you’re feeling like you want a cone of soft serve then go for it, just make sure that you earned it. Which leads right into rule #2
Rule 2 – Earn it
For some crazy reason people don’t get this one. What you eat should be in direct correlation with how active you were that day. If you, as a 5 foot 4 125 lbs chick, sat and did nothing all day you probably shouldn’t eat more than 1400 calories, but if you busted ass and worked out, stood all day, etc then you should be eating more like 1900 calories. Your body needs to put in what you took out and it needs a basic amount of nutrition just to survive. You can kind of estimate your basic calorie needs by adding 100 calories to 1000 for every inch above 5 foot (that’s assuming you don’t have a bunch of weight to lose), so our chick up top didn’t do anything and she still needed 1400 calories to not lose weight. I’m not too into the whole calorie counting thing you, that’s for if you drop the ball and gain weight, but it will give you a good baseline to go from.
Another way this applies is to carbs and fats. Eat things that you know are bad for you on days when you worked out hard, not on days when you’ve been sitting on your ass. Your body will be able to handle the crap better if you worked it out than if you did nothing. In fact you need it to build muscle and to lose fat. Eat more to lose more is true only if you earned it. Don’t go crazy though, remember rule 1.
Rule 3 – Don’t be all or nothing
No matter how much I love people the majority of everyone on the planet is dumb when it comes to exercise and fitness. Here is why. They will rock their workouts for a week, eat only lean meat and vegetables, and they’ll start feeling really good about themselves. Then they eat a Reese’s cup and all hell breaks loose. They stop going to the gym, because what’s the point? They eat whatever they want, because they already ruined their diet, right? Rinse and repeat ad infinitum.
All this does is make you fatter quicker. I want you to understand that just because you failed in a small way doesn’t mean that your entire life is over. Regroup, pretend that it didn’t happen and move on. I’ll say that again, pretend like it didn’t happen and move on. Don’t go crazy with the cardio, just continue on with your diet and with your workout program. Sure you might want to up the intensity a little bit on your next workout, but don’t kill yourself. The world is not over because of a peanut butter cup.
Rule 4 – 5 to 6 times a day
There is some debate as to how often to eat, but what I’ve found works best for everyone I’ve ever worked with as a client is this. Eat 5 to 6 times a day. Done and done. Look I know you’re thinking that you’re going to plump up with 6 meals a day, and you will if you eat 6 meals a day. You’re going to eat 6 smaller meals, breakfast, snack, lunch snack, dinner, and another snack wherever you get the most hungry.
On a non workout day this is what I eat – Protein shake 6-8 am, eggs and beans 10-11AM,meat and rice with veggies 1-2PM, Greek yogurt with berries 3-4 PM, a salad of some kind with meat 6-7 PM, protein shake 9 PM. This is going to be hard for you for two reasons. 1. You actually have to plan ahead 2. Food is either going to be everywhere or no where.
Here’s how to manage it. If you live with a kitchen whenever you make meat or a salad or rice make enough for the whole week. Invest in those resalable containers, they are great. Look in my fridge right now and both my roommate and I have probably about 8 of those bad boys full. If you live on campus and don’t have a place to cook you are going to have to take things from the Cafeteria that won’t spoil (unless you have a fridge then take whatever you want). Don’t steal stuff, either get those resalable containers or use the paper cups they have for coffee to transport food to your room. This saves you money because you don’t have to pay for groceries.
Rule 5 – Use common sense
I said it before, an apple is always better than a French fry, and when I said it then you knew I was right and you still know I’m right. Basic nutrition will never be far from what you think it will be. Sure there are tricky marketing bastards who will make you think something is good for you when it’s full of crap, but you should be able to see right through their bull. Anything with a cream sauce won’t be the best choice, glazes and syrups are not good for you, fried also kills you. You get the idea.
Rule 6 – Avoid These
In case your common sensor is broken don’t eat these:
Anything white (White sugar, flour, white bread, the white part on a steak)
Most packaged things
Anything that is neon, or obviously has large amounts of coloring
Processed fill in the blank
Creamy, cream, cream
Rule 7 – Eat these
On the flip side stuff you should look for
Nuts (without the shit they sprinkle on top)
Was that so hard? Here’s a trick that I learned in college to remember things easier, you take the first letter of each item in a list and then make a sentence out of it. For this is would be: 8ED5UAE, so the sentence I made up was this: 8 Epitaphs Display 5 Uranium Aligned Eagles. Easy to remember right?
These rules on their own wont get you thin but they will lay a good foundation to your nutrition. No matter what, life is about your habits, make these habits so that you don’t have to think about what to do when you open the menu or refrigerator.